Miss 8093
by harley-kenickie
Summary: Doctor Hugo Strange overseeing prisoner 8093. Session one. Arkham Asylum Records. We will begin with introductions. The patient seems to be in a gaming mood. Telling riddles. Miss. 8093 is now laughing hysterically. Will proceed with a tranquilizer.
1. -Mrs J-

**-Mrs. J-**

Prisoner 8093, also known as Harley Quinn bounces into her seat. Looking about the room. Strange comes in.

Strange: "Hello, Harley. I-"

8093: (interrupts) "No no no. You don't get to call me that."

Strange: "What do I address you as?"

8093: "Mrs. J." (giggles)

Strange: "You and him have gotten married?"

8093: "If that's what it's called these days." (smiles huge.)

Strange: "Well, Miss. Quinzel, I am your overseeing physician. Doctor Hugo Strange."

8093: "Oh, I know you Strange."

Strange: (clears throat) "Can we start this session with you telling me how you got here?"

8093: "In a car. Uh, don't you want to know how I, of all people, know you Strange?"

Strange: "I've worked at Arkham for years. We could have been colleges."

8093: "Now, you know that's not true."

Strange: "Can begin to elaborate on why you're here?"

8093: (eyes search room) "Why I'm here." (thinks) "That is a real tough question Strange."

Strange: "Then we'll work our way up to that one and go into this one. Who are you, Miss. Quinzell?"

8093: "I told you to call me Mrs. J!" (annoyed) "And who I am, is none of your damn business!"

Strange: (sighs) "I am your Doctor, Miss. I have every right to know what you think of yourself."

8093: "Oh, you could have just asked that silly."

Strange: "My apologies Miss."

8093: "I am, in a doctors perspective, a lunatic. Who in their right mind would fall in love with a crazy homicidal maniac. That's just it. I'm not in my right mind; no one is." (pauses for a minute) "Even doctors, mayors, cops, presidents, kings, are not in their right mind. Anyway, how do we know anyone is? You, and all your (air quotes) SANE friends could be the crazy ones. The people turning mad and making a hundred mistakes. So tell me, what's so different between the mad and the sane? Between you and I?"

Strange: "I do not kill."

8093: "Oh, but that's a lie Strange. You have driven many of your patients even more mad. Turning them suicidal, risking their own lives instead of others. It's a kill or get slaughtered world Strange. And we're on the same side."

Strange: "I handle the homicidal, self inflicting patients in this facility. That is my job and that is why I am your own doctor, Miss."

8093: "I harm myself?" (shocked)

Strange: "You played into the hands of your very own patient. You let the insane take you over and let your 'right mind' , as you put it, walk out the front door."

8093: "I like to think of it as more of a side door."

Strange: "So, Miss Quinzell, what exactly did you, yourself, do to get in here?"

8093: (scuffs at the name) "I, for one, showed respect and honor in all that I did to end up back in this shit hole."

Strange: "What did you show respect and honor doing?"

8093: "I did what was asked of me and I did it well. Also, I held honor for what I, personally, believe in."

Strange: "What do you believe in?"

8093: "You choose your place in society. You choose your house, your job, your lover. I one the other hand tried life from the other side of town. The rich, the handsome, the boring. And now, I'm on the side where the fun happens."

Strange: "So, what you're saying is, you believe in choosing your own path?"

8093: "Bingo." (sits back)

Strange: "How does that belief transfer over into honor when you kill people?"

8093: "The people I kill, chose their lives. I only kill those who won't end it themselves, those who chose to stand in me and my puddin's way, and those who forgot who they really are."

Strange: "Could you give me some examples of those kinds of people that you have killed?"

8093: "Hm. Well, there was this homeless guy a couple blocks from here. He looked miserable, and I too was havin' a rough day. Mister J and I had one our fights again, and I decided to take a walk. Cool down and clear my head because we all know he wasn't going to. So, I see the homeless guy, misery and all, and I want to help him. Also, just staring at him made me miss that feeling. So, I shot his brains out." (giggles a bit)

Strange: "What feeling, Miss.?"

8093: "The feeling you get from killing somebody. The life getting ripped from them, it's exhilarating."

Strange: "What did you do with the man?"

8093: "Oh, him? I checked his wallet and it all made sense! He was a Doctor from Arkham. I thought maybe he was havin' a bad day cause one of his patients was getting to him or..he got fired. So it made even better."

Strange: "Excuse me a moment."

8093: "Take as long as you sweets."

Strange exits. 8093 puts her feet on the table. They haven't taken her out of her costume yet.

Minutes pass and Strange returns.

8093: "What did ya have to do, sweets?"

Strange: "I reported Doctor Gillings death as murder at the hands of Harleen Quinzell."

8093: (humph) "That's sure got a ring to it." (giggles)

Strange: "What about the other ones?"

8093: "Oh, the ones who get in our way? Their just low lifes, scum really."

Strange: "And the ones who forgot who they really are?"

8093: (laughs) "Now, that's going to ruin the joke!"

Strange: "Who was it?"

8093: "No no no. Who is it, or will it be. Are more suitable questions." (laughs)

Strange: "Why won't you answer this one question Harleen?" (growing frustrated)

8093: "Because your answer is coming soon." (clown laugh)

Men come in and pull her out of her chair. Leave. Strange mumbles angrily.


	2. -the wife-

**-the wife-**

_a few sessions later._

Strange: (coughs uncomfortably) "I don't think that is an appropriate question for these sessions, Miss Quinzell."

8093: "Well, I do. How come you get to know all about me and Mister J, and I only know your name? Where's the trust in that? I think it's quite unfair, and unreasonable. I should know these things if you want me to open up more, Strange."

Strange: "This is _your_ Therapy session, Miss. Quinzell. It is not mine."

8093: "Oh, I completely disagree. It's always the patient that gets to the Doctor first." (smiles)

Strange: "My personal life, with my wife is not up for discussion in these sessions, Miss. Quinzell." (fixes glasses)

8093: "Just tell me her name." (sits up straight)

Strange: "No."

8093: "She's a screamer isn't she?" (giggles)

Strange: "This has gone too far, Miss. Quinzell."

8093: (somewhat yelling) "You get to know all about mine and Mister J's personal life!"

Strange: "I did not ask to be notified about the sexual aspects of your relationship, Miss. Quinzell. I assure you, you never had to tell me any of it. In fact, you can only volunteer information that your comfortable with. I can't force you to except my help."

8093: (smirks) "But you didn't stop me from talkin' about it, did you? Nope nope nope."

Strange: "You are the patient, you have more rights to say what you'd like than I can stop you. At least as long as it's about you and your own life struggles. Not mine. Understood, Miss. Quinzell?"

8093: (leans back) "So? When I was treatin' Mistah J, he'd tell me something and I'd say something back. It's a fair bargain and we still go by that to this very day. Why can't we do that?"

Strange: "Maybe that same unprofessional behavior wound you in the seat your in today, Miss. Quinzell."

8093: (has glum expression) (sighs) "Did you know their going to start letting me have visitors? This place just keeps on getting more and more fun to be in! No wonder Mistah J stayed in here for so long without wanting to leave!"

Strange: "Whose going to come visit you?"

8093: "Everyone. I mean, everyone that actually cares about me." (smiles big)

Strange: "Anyone specific?" (scratches ear)

8093: (leans fairly close to Doctor Strange) "You know who."

Strange: (eyebrows knit together) "Perhaps I don't."

8093: (laughs) "Your just trying to get me to say her name."

Strange: "She? Your..uh...partner isn't going to come see you?"

8093: "Well, he isn't _that _stupid!" (throws arms around)

Strange: "Who is this woman visitor, then?"

8093: "I'd trust her with my life. We've been close for years. Sense back when I was a Doctor here, I think.." (pauses; thinking) (suddenly smiles at Doctor Strange) "How old, or should I say young _is_ your wife, Strange?"

Strange: "I- uh, that's-"

8093: "None of my business. Blah blah blah. Look, I'd say your in your late 30's? Early 40's?" (chuckles) "So how much younger is she compared to you, sugar daddy?" (dances fingers on table)

Strange: "How- What?" (flabbergasted)

8093: "Nuh, uh, uh. You bad boy." (clicks tongue) "She better be of age." (sass is present in tone of voice)

Strange: "SHE IS!"


	3. -harlequin-

**-harlequin-**

_-the next session-_

8093: (continues story) "And so I'm in inner turmoil, asking him to hit me. To give me a reason to hurt him; to maybe even kill him. Guess that's what blood-lust and your occasional lack of murdering does to a sycophant like myself."

Strange: "Did he? Did he do it?" (intrigued)

8093: (flairs arms around) "No! I was getting to that part!" (sighs) "So you know what he does next?"

8093: "Don't answer that either!" (nods finger at Doctor Strange)

Strange: "So?"

8093: "He grabs my face and brings me real close, like he's goin to kiss me, you know, _that_ close, and says `Who are you to tell me what to do? When did this happen? Huh?`" (sighs) "So I break out of his grasp and shove my left hand in his face and reply with `Since you made me ya' wife, bozo!` and I'm getting real cross with him now. He's got the nerve to pull me in close again but this time he says to me `I won't hit you anymore, Harls. I made you my wife for a reason and I got to change. Change for you, puddin'. So I'll give you a job, someone to kill. Just don't fight with me. I don't like fighting with you, puddin.` and can you believe that? He does too love me, no matter what _anyone_ else says or thinks. You know, we haven't fought sense then either."

Strange: "How long ago was this?"

8093: "Maybe, somewhere around a year and a half ago." (twirls hair)

Strange: "But why were you out for blood to begin with? Asking him to hit you, or send you out for a kill? Why so desperate?"

8093: "It's kind of like drugs. Killing is. You do it once, and you get the highest thrill of your life. Then you keep going back out and searching for more and more. Before too long, you don't even realize why your killing so much. You just know you _love_ it. It's the best high I've ever had to be honest. Also it's cause we got so many low life clowns workin' for us, I hadn't gotten the chance at any.. _field _work. I just hadn't gotten my hands dirty in months." (shrugs)

Strange: "Why not though? If you were so high up on the `throne`, why not assign something to yourself?"

8093: "You see, I went in there asking Mister J the same question. Why I wasn't getting to kill anyone anymore. And I knew he was getting to almost everyday, with or without me there. I was kind of jealous. And I ended up being a bitch about it all and asked him to hit me and well, you know the rest, Strange."

Strange: "What did he say?"

8093: (smiles) "He had the best answer any girl could ask for and I know it was truthful too. He was kind of spilling his heart out for me. Well, in the best way he can with words."

Strange: "And he said?"

8093: "He said `I'm not letting you go out, to possibly get hurt, to do a job because, well, because it's easier to get mad at the scum we got downstairs than it is to get mad at you and and fight. It's too much of a heartache. And what if you really did get hurt or killed? I wouldn't be able to cope with anything.`and to tell ya' the truth, I know he meant it too. He's been proving his love for me for a long time. In that moment, though, I finally saw how."

Strange: (contemplating within himself) "So.. Where's your ring?"

8093: "With Mister J. When I got caught, I saw the cops coming. I forced the ring into his hand and a kiss right on his adorable lips. Pushed him down a dark alley, running back just in time for the cops to get me."

Strange: "Why'd you do that?"

8093: "Cause I knew he wouldn't and he did fight back but I reminded him that I could get out of here faster if he was on the outside and still free from this hell hole."

Strange: (wipes sweat off forehead) "Do you think he's planning to come get you?"

8093: (leans close to Doctor Strange) "What do you think, Strange?"

Strange: "From what little information we have on the two of you, together, that I could research... he always come back for his Harley."

8093: "There you have it, Doc."

long pause.

Strange: "What about the `Harley Quinn` facade?"

8093: (tilts chair back) "What about it? It's who I really am, Strange. Harleen Quinzell was the only facade I've ever masked my true self with."

Strange: "But how did it come about? Aside from the spelling similarities?"

8093: "I'm free. I'm happy. And I've got my own Joker." (small wink)

Strange: "Harlequin. She ain't nothing but a jesters pet."

8093: (leans on elbows) (forms hard stare) "Oh, I ain't the Harlequin you'll see laughing by a jesters side. No. I'm _the_ Harley Quinn, on _my_ Mister J's arm."

pause.

8093: "And I'm the one to be afraid of, _sweets_."


	4. -not for the cat-

**-not for the cat-**

_a few sessions later._

Strange: "No more talk of my wife. I have said this too many times to count now." (wipes sweat from forehead)

8093: (smiles) "Just curious." (playing with fingers)

Strange: "Curiosity killed the cat." (jots notes down onto clipboard)

8093: "Do I look like the cat? And besides, it's going to be something much more... theatrical, that'll kill the cat of."

Strange: "What do you mean?" (eyebrows knit together)

8093: (casually shaking head) "The cat just doesn't know when to stop."

Strange: "Who is this cat your referring to?"

8093: "Who do you think, Strange? It's not that hard to piece together. Her and I used to be real close."

Strange: "You mean, Selena Kyle is going to die?"

8093: "No no no no no. No! I _mean_ the 'cat' is going to get killed. slaughtered. wiped from existence."

Strange: "Would you elaborate?"

8093: "No. I don't wanna talk about it."

Strange: "Well.. what about this 'theatrical' way of death? What is that?"

8093: (shows shocked expression) "You honestly don't know?"

Strange shakes his head. His huge hands scribble down words without his eyes on the paper. They are locked with Harley's. Utterly interested.

8093: (dramatic tone) "The Batman."

The doctor says no words.

8093: "Selena and I were _very_ close. We even lived together at one point. Before and after makin' it to this side of the law. Granit we did have a third..domestic partner both times. We were all very close-"

Strange: "What does this have to do with the Batman?" (eagerly changing the subject away from their other roommate)

8093: (chuckles) "I know what she does. Even to this day. Ever sense she met that son of bat. She told me."

Strange: "What does she do then?"

8093: "She meets up with him several nights out of the week. Same time, different places. Trying not to draw attention to their little _romance_."

Strange: "How is the Batman going to kill the cat but not Selena?"

8093: "Because he's got a hold on her. And it is tightly bound." (leans closer) "One night, she missed their meeting. The Bat being the Bat he's always been, thought something was wrong. So he went searching for her. Wasn't that hard when you're the worlds best detective."

Strange: "What happened to her?"

8093: "Nothing. But in true Catwoman nature, her greed and lust for anything beautiful got the better of her on her way to meet him. She saw diamonds and rubies. Gems and silver. People should really cover up the windows to all the Gotham jewelry stores if they don't want her robbin' them..again...and again.."

Strange stays silent.

8093: "So Batsy shows up and busts her. Knocking her out of her senses, or in her words 'back into her senses' and she apologizes to him over and over. From what she told me, they were together the rest of the night and she was proving herself to him. Then ever sense then, they've been seeing each other masked, or not. I have no idea who he is though, under the cape, cause she went out with so many different guys. Never telling me their names. I guess she really does love him, and I can understand that...me and her.. we're in the same boat when it comes to men."

pause.

8093: "What I'm trying to say is, she doesn't steal anymore.. nothing.. no killing.. nope. She only ever goes out as Catwoman to help the Bat out with somethin' or another. It's kind of discusting to watch. She's changing so much.. and pretty soon we won't be able to even talk at all."

Strange: "Why not?"

8093: "Because her man... and mine... they might know each others behavior and personality best... but they're on opposing teams, Doctor Strange. We'll both get shit from both of 'em for talking to each other."

Strange: "But you said so yourself, you've known her before all of this clowning around, and criminal acts. Why let men dictate that?"

8093: "Don't act like you don't do it to your wife, either. It put's us between a rock and a hard place. No woman wants that, so they'll stay by the one that'll provide for her."

Strange: (moves uncomfortably)

8093: (sad smile) "Anyways, my puddin' needs me."

silence.

Strange: "I do not do that to Pam."

8093: (huge clown smirk) (starts clapping) (laughing hysterically) "Ladies and gentlemen, get ready because the doctor has finally given up!"

giggles and clapping continue.

Strange: "Guards." (three tall, muscular men storm in) "Tranquilize her... Now."

The men do as instructed while Strange picks up his things and practically runs out of the room like a man with a secret. Harley passes out with an eerie smile on her face and the men carry her small frame down the hall and into her cell.


End file.
